For all the work I do and that I only seem to notice I decided to give myself an early Christmas present. My buddy Scott initiated a day trip to LA which I could not refuse for the following reasons: 1) I needed to get away 2) I had not seen this guy in months. Anyway, I bought myself a fujifilm instax camera which is basically a newer version of the polaroid camera. Of course the polaroid is 100 times better but the instax mini is good too in a different way. It took me an embarassing amount of time to figure out how to put it together and then use it. But here are the results.

( OBSERVE... )

I've been listening to Daisy a lot. I don't know why people are bagging on it as much as they are. Of course it's going to be different, every new Brand New album is different. Besides everyone who is a big enough fan of the band knew from the beginning that Vinnie was the mastermind behind it this time. Sure some lyrics perhaps could have been better written but hey! it's still a good album. I am not disappointed. Brand New keep it up. I'm excited for the tour I am going to be at all 4 southern cali shows documenting everything.

I've been listening to a lot of paper rival and modest mouse lately too. It's an odd mix. I have been working too much lately. I am excited for my project and even more excited at the possibility of going on tour this summer. I'm ready for adventure in which ever way it may come.

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It makes me really sad that I haven't done anything like this in a really long while. I decided to do this for my kid sister Melanie A.K.A Melanoma. We were shopping around for a Jo Bro backpack but all the ones we saw every where were really tacky. In simple words they were butt. So, I proposed to design her a backpack and she accepted. I felt like it was going to be fairly simple. I've stenciled more complicated things before. But holy crap that logo was a pain! It went all wrong, the stencil bled horribly. I tried to fix it. I basically free-handed the rest of it. I finally showed my finished product to Melanie, it was horrible at best. I explained that she would only have to carry this the first week of school and that the following week I'd make her a new one. She said, "no! I want this one, this one is perfect, thank you, Tracy." Kids can sometimes be so brutally honest that they ruin your day. But other times, it's that very same honesty that makes your day.




( you don't even know, know, know........ )

The setlist in order: 
1. Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't
2. Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades
3. Jaws Theme Swimming
4. The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
5. The Shower Scene
6. Sowing Season
7. The Archer's Bows Are Broken
8. Jesus
9. Flying At Tree Level
10. Mix Tape
11. Seventy Times 7
12. Jude Law And A Semester Abroad
13. Bed
14. Bought A Bride or "trees" or "brickhouse" I'm not sure haha
15. Gasoline
16. Degausser
17. You Won't Know
18. Oh, Comely (NMH cover)

( it feels like I’m trying to catch a ghost... )

The set list, in order:
1.A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains
2. Every Thought A Thought Of You
3. Brownish Spider
4. Messes of Men
5. Goodbye, I
6. Four Word Letter
7. C-Minor
8. Carousels
9. My Exit, Unfair
10. Bullet to Binary Pt. 2
11.Torches Together
12. The King Beetle on a Coconut Estate
13. Timothy Hay
14. Disaster Tourism
Encore
15. "Whatever comes, let it come" January 1979
16. Allah, Allah, Allah
17. In A Sweater Poorly Knit

( what the hell?! )

El Rey Set List:
1. Messes of Men
2. Goodbye, I
3. Yellow Spider
4. The Dryness and the Rain
5. Cattail Down
6. Tie me up! Untie me!
7. Bullet to Binary Pt. 2
8. C-Minor
9. Son of a Widow
10. Timothy Hay
11. O, Porcupine
12. A Stick, A Carrot, and String
13. January 1979
14. The Fox, the Crow and the Cookie
Encore
15. Torches Together
16. The King Beetle on a Coconut Estate
17. In a Sweater Poorly Knit

( she was like wine turned to water then turned back into wine.... )</div>

The set list in order: 
1.You'll only end up joining them
2. Cotton crush
3. Carnival
4. Time to burn
5. No time flat
6. You're trailing yourself
7. Go haunt someone else
8. Hand of God
9. Fever moon
10. Longer that I'm out here
11. Me and my friends
12. Buried the buzz
13. I could be with anyone
14. Yr husband
15. Tomorrow is just too late
16. Brooklyn boy
17. Ballgame
18. You're my incentive
19. Just stay
20. Brother's blood

( cut yourself some slack against a deck so stacked I mean c'mon now you're just one man... )

The set list in order was:
1. Cotton crush
2. Carnival
3. Another bag of bones
4. No time flat
5. You're trailing yourself
6. Go haunt someone else
7. Hand of God
8. Murphy's song
9. The longer that I'm out here
10. Buried by the buzz
11. I could be with anyone
12. Yr husband
13. Tomorrow is just too late
14. Brooklyn boy
15. Ballgame
16. You are the daybreak
17. Just stay
18. Brother's blood

( The pattern of dependence has got me....you got me... )

post pending

Post Pending

but believe it or not this picture was taken with my blackberry.

I'm thinking about all those wagers I used to make with God before I went to bed when I was younger.  All those irrational fears I had made me put some pretty serious things on the line.  I don't know if he took them seriously but I remember I would wager things I thought I'd never have and in turn would speak about consequences that I thought were impossible.  But those things did come true, somehow I ended up wanting all the things I told him I could do without. 

 You're driving on a one way street, I thought you should know.

 I have not been feeling well this whole week. I guess I was let down. I feel like "crap and a half" and I don't see myself feeling better any time soon. All I can think about is wanting to disappear from everyone. I feel defeated. I feel like I've been wronged. I feel like Karma is chewing my ass right now for things that I've already done. I haven't been sleeping either and I wake up with the worst headaches. I am not stable, I am not free. I am chained, and that fact is becoming more apparent each and every day.

      Working at a convalescent center, I get asked a lot, "do you really like this stuff?"  My answer is always the same, "yes and no." Yes, because when one really listens, one finds that everyone has important things to say.  Even patients with dementia get moments of enlightenment and feel the need to share.  Mary wheeled around the hallways of the center yelling that she was giving birth to a horse today.  A minute later, she stopped screaming, looked straight into my eyes and said "dear, life is beautiful no matter what anyone says, don't give anyone the right to fade it."  

     Constance is a 94 year old woman who constantly prays.  She is completely healthy, she resides in the center because her family does not have the time to care for her.  She makes sure to thank Him for everything.  I had to take her to the dining room the other day.  Mrs.  Culpepper was in a hurry.   She asked me for my form to sign me out and I guess she did not hear Constance say hi to her.  Mrs. Culpepper signed my from and walked away.  Right after, Constance asked Him to forgive her for overlooking her hello.  She asked Him to give Mrs. Culpepper clarity.  Julia says that it may be why He has let her live so long.  Personally it is kind of scary to think about how He allows you to live or so they say.  It reminds me of the Chuck Palahniuk quote about how we must never ever get boring.  

     No, because I do not like how they are overlooked.  I hate that I see a lot of doctors not pay attention; as if nothing anyone else says could ever be meaningful or important.   I have learned so many different things and I have definately learned to take it easy.  I like hearing about their lives and how great they were and how better they could have been if they would have  "just married (enter name here) instead" or "moved out to (enter place here.)"  But then there are some people who have lead some extraordinary lives that just make you feel different after you hear their stories.  Some of them make you ask, "well, how did you end up in Sun City?!"   And no because some people have become so bitter that they get violent.  They seem to hate others simply because of their youth.  Just like one sees people who have really lived their life to its full potential, one sees people who have wasted it.  One sees people who have hurt and have been hurt or who are hurting still.  Most patients are eager to talk, but I wonder about the quiet ones.  I wonder what is eating at the ones who chose not to say a word.  The good people at the center make my job meaningful. The good people at the center overpower the bad.  I would like to think it was like that with most things.